Parents: Research supports the effectiveness of actively communicating with your child about substance abuse and prevention. Consider the following research presented below, along with tips on how to communicate with your child about alcohol, drugs and tobacco prevention.

Latest Research:

A 2005 Youth Risk Behavior Survey conducted by Jeffrey L. Metzger, Ph.D, M.Ed, and the NH Department of Health and Human Services found a direct relationship between alcohol and marijuana use and academic achievement in New Hampshire high schools.

(1) High school students that did not drink alcohol and did not smoke marijuana had significantly higher grades (As and Bs) than students who reported drinking in the 30 days of the survey.

(2) Students who reported drinking alcohol and/or smoked marijuana in the prior month had a higher percentage of poor grades (Cs, Ds and Fs).

(3) The earlier the age a student first drinks alcohol and/or smokes marijuana, the poorer the grades. Early age use appears to handicap students when it comes to getting the top grades in school.

(4) Frequent users of marijuana and alcohol are in the minority. 75% of high school students reported not drinking, and/or not smoking marijuana at all in the prior thirty days.

(5) Frequent users do most of the using. 17% of students indicated both using marijuana and engaging in binge drinking in the past thirty days.

(6) Early and/or frequent marijuana use is linked to lower academic achievement in reading and math scores.

(7) Early and or frequent alcohol use is strongly correlated with lifetime alcohol use, and also suggests that drinking and lower reading achievement are very much related.

(8) The Bottom Line: Even one drink of alcohol and/or one use of marijuana in the prior month significantly reduces the probability that the student will achieve As and Bs in school.

Source: The Relationship between School Achievement and Alcohol / Marijuana Use in New Hampshire High Schools. 2005 Youth Risk Behavior Survey and 2005 New Hampshire Educational Improvement and Assessment
Program. New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services, Division of Public Health Services, Bureau of Prevention Services, Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs.

In the journal, New Hampshire Center for Public Policy Studies, research in 2004 on "Teen Drug Use and Juvenile Crime in New Hampshire" found that:

(1) New Hampshire teens use drugs at rates significantly higher than their national counterparts. One survey placed New Hampshire among the top states in the nation in terms of the proportion of its teen population abusing either alcohol or drugs.

(2) The same survey placed New Hampshire in the top ten for the proportion of teens needing-but not receiving-treatment for drug abuse.

(3)A survey conducted by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) in 2002 estimates that 12 percent of New Hampshire teens have a serious problem with alcohol and/or drugs.

(4) Although rates of juvenile crime in most categories are low and falling in New Hampshire, the arrest rate of juveniles for drug crimes is the ninth highest in the country and rising. Smoking And Drinking: New research using nationally representative data
  from the U.S. finds that smokers – particularly adolescent smokers –   clearly have a greater vulnerability to alcohol-use disorders than do   nonsmokers, according to a study published in Alcoholism: Clinical &   Experimental Research. R. A. Grucza, et al; ACER, Nov. 2006

  Programmed In The Womb:  Australian researchers report in Tobacco Control   that children of women who smoked during pregnancy were three times more   likely to become smokers than other youngsters. They suggest nicotine
  passes through the placenta and may act directly on the developing brain   of the unborn child. A. Al Mamun, et al, TC, 2006; 15:6: 452-7

  Visit the "Teens & Technology" section on TheAntiDrug.com for more tips   and to better understand the connection between teens, technology, and   drugs: http://www.theantidrug.com/E-Monitoring/index.asp.

  Age of Onset: "The younger they start smoking, the more their brains   appear to be more susceptible to other addictions," said study co-author   Richard Grucza, an epidemiologist at the Washington University School of   Medicine in St. Louis. "So, the longer we can delay these behaviors, the   better." The findings are published in the December issue of Alcoholism:
  Clinical & Experimental Research.   http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20061130/hl_hsn/smokingmayboostproblemdrinkinginteens&printer=1
  Silence Isn't Golden; It's Permission: Teens believe they have valuable   things to say, and when a parent genuinely listens, it helps self-esteem   and confidence. It will take more than five minutes to talk to your teen   about drugs and alcohol - it's about building an ongoing dialogue. Start   a Conversation: http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/advice_start_convo.asp

  The National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign and the Office of National Drug Control Policy created a booklet entitled Keeping Your Kids Drug-Free: A How-To Guide for Parents and Caregivers.  The following information is taken directly from the booklet.  To get your own free copy of the booklet call 1-800-788-2800 or contact Michael Edwards at Northern Human Services by calling 447-2111.

Here are some facts about kids and drug use: Forty percent of U.S. teens say they expect to use a drug in the future.  One out of every five kids in 8th grade has already tried marijuana.  Use of substances such as marijuana and inhalants can result in social consequesnces (e.g., failing in school) and physical consequences such as reduced stamina and fitness or damage to the lungs and brain.  Teens who smoke cigaretts are more likely to drink alcohol.  Teens who smoke and drink are more likely to use marijuana.  And those who use all three are more likely to use other illicit drugs.  Long-term studies show that use of other illicit drugs among youth almost never occurs unless they have first used marijuana.

Now, here is the most important fact you should know: Kids who learn from their parents about the dangers of underage drinking, drugs and other harmful substances are less likely to use those substances.  In other words, you have the power to keep the child you love safe, healthy and drug-free.  But finding the right words and the right approach can be hard.  That's where this booklet comes in.  It can help you put your good intentions into action.

PARENTS TODAY
THE CHALLENGES ALL PARENTS FACE
By the time your child reaches the age of nine or ten, you've probably taught him or her right from wrong, basic safety rules, good health habits and how to make friends and how to get along with others.  You've already done a lot of good things.  Before your child becomes a teenager, you also should enhance the communication skills you already have to increase the chances of keeping your child drug-free.

This booklet provides ideas and examples about the skills busy parents can use to keep their children off drugs.  Read this booklet and let it guide you as you go about your daily activities.

There are opportunities every day to turn ordinary times like driving your child to practice or doing household chores together into teachable moments to let your child know what's important to you.  As your kids move from elementary school through middle school and on to high school, it's important to keep talking to them about the harm that drugs, tobacco and underage drinking can do to their young lives.  Just a little of your time every once in a while can make a lifetime of difference.

YOU MATTER 

You can influence your child's behavior:
Kids who learn about the risks of drug abuse from their parents or caregivers are less likely to use drugs than kids who do not.  How much less likely?  Kids are about 36 percent less likely to smoke marijuana, 50 percent less likely to use inhalants, 56 prcent less likely to use cocaine and 65 percent less likely to use LSD.

"You are your child's most important role model.  If you don't want your kids taking drugs, consider how your own use of tobacco and alcohol affects them. Kids notice."
-A mom in Los Angeles, Clifornia

It makes sense that your child is more likely to stay drug-free when your child talks to you because he or she pays attention to what you say and do. Children look to parents for information about life decisions and choices, such as how to succeed in school and why they shouldn't use drugs.  They look to other kids for information about popular culture, such as fashion fads or what's cool.

"Most kids don't want to disappoint their families," according to Amelie Ramirez, a doctor of public health (Dr. P.H.) and a drug abuse prevention specialist.  "Parents who send a clear message of 'no drug use' are setting expectations high for their kids, and this will help their kids stay away from drugs."

"Everybody thinks their kid is beyond taking drugs...nobody's beyond it."
-A mom in Troy, Missouri

Every day it seems that we hear about kids using a new drug, such as ecstasy (MDMA).  Although the drugs change over time, alcohol is still the most widely used substance among teens in America, followed by tobacco and marijuana.  Also, kids still sniff glue to get high, but now they also sniff household products such as spray paints and aerosol sprays, shoe polish, gasoline and lighter fluid.

While this look at drug trends may be discouraging to you, take heart.  Two-thirds of kids say that losing their parents' respect and pride is one of the main reasons they don't smoke marijuana or use other drugs.  Your words and actions matter.

Drug Facts:

• The physical effects of inhalants can include hearing loss, limb spasms and damage to the central nervous sysstem, brain, bone marrow, liver and kidneys.
• Club drugs such as ecstasy can lead to depression, drug cravings, paranoia (and in some cases, psychotic episodes), blurred vision and dangerous increases in heart rate and blood pressure.
• Teens who learn anti-drug messages at home are 42 percent less likely to use drugs.

"Everyday parenting actions such as establishing clear rules and consequences, praising and rewarding desirable behavior and staying involved in kids' daily lives help prevent drug use."
-Amelie Ramirez, Dr. P.H., a drug abuse prevention specialist and mom to Nicholas, 22, Ameli, 18; and Marco, 14

IT'S NOT PESTERING, IT'S PARENTING 

What can I do to keep my child away from drugs and other substances?

Conflict sometimes comes with the job of parenting, expecially when you're talking about touchy subjects such as drug use.  Experts say that to create an environment that combines talking with action, you should:

• Know what your child is doing-their activities and how they spend their time.
• Be involved in your kids' lives.
• Praise and reward good behavior.
• Set limits with clear rules and consequences for breaking them.

Of course, your kids might not like your keeping tabs on where they are and what they're doing.  It won't be a democracy, and it shouldn't be, according to many parent experts.  In the end it's not pestering, it's parenting.

Questions: The Anti-Drug
Ask Who, What, When, and Where

Here are other ways to know what your child is up to:

• Know where your child is when he or she is away from home.  Have your kids check in with  you regularly.  Give them coins, a phone card, or a beeper with clear usage rules. (For example, "When I beep you, I expect a call back within five minutes.")  If a beeper or cell phone is not allowed to be used in school, have your child keep one in his backpack and ask him to turn it on after school.  You may have to coordinate the use of beepers and cell phones with school administrators.  If your child does not have a beeper or cell phone, get the numbers of where he'll be after school so that you can check in or have him call you at certain times so he can check in with you.
• Make a list of her activities for the coming day and put it on the fridge, on a calendar or in your wallet or pocketbook.
• Walk through your neighborhood and note where kids your child's age hang out.
• Know your child's friends.  Have a small party at your house and invite the parents of his friends.  Have his friends for dinner.  Ask them about their parents.  Make a point of meeting your child's friends' parents-find them at a PTA meeting, soccer practice, dance rehearsal or wherever the kids hang out.
• Work with other parents to get a list of everyone's addresses, e-mails and phone numbers so you can keep in touch with your child.
• Show up a little early to pick up your child so you can observe her behavior.
• Occasionally check to see that your kids are where they say they're going to be.

Lots of kids get in trouble with drugs right after school-from 3 p.m.-6 p.m.  Try to be with your kids then, but if you can't, make sure your child is doing something positive with an adult around: sports, jobs, clubs, after-school programs or religious youth groups.  If your kids have to be at home,make sure they are doing homework or chores and not hanging out with friends.

Parenting expert Phillippe Cunningham, Ph.D., recommends working to maintain a warm bond with your child.  This builds up "credit" with your child so that when you have to punish him or her or set limits, it's less stressful.  With that strong bond, your child will most likely see your rule or punishment as an act of love.  A strong bond can be developed by taking advantage of times when you can notice your child's strengths (when they're in a play, a music recital or on the football field) or when you can "catch them being good" (such as treating a sibling nicely or volunteering to do a household chore).

Building Relationships

OPENING LINES OF COMMUNICATION

What do I say to my child?

First, you Listen.

It's important to take time to lsiten to your kids. Try to find time to be with your child when he or she asks to talk to you.  Don't say "in just a minute" or "not right now."  Devote your attention to what your son or daughter is saying, because kids know when you're pretending to listen.

Some ideas for good listening:

• Ask open-ended questions that encourage conversation.  Avoid questions that kids can answer with a simple yes or no.
• Make it clear that you are listening and trying to understand your child's point of view.  When your child describes events, repeat what you think your child has just told you.

To show that you are listening, you can also use phrases such as the following:

• "Sounds like you're saying..."
• "Do you mean that..."
• "When that happens to me, I feel like...is it like that for you too?"
• "Are you saying...?"
• "I'm having a hard time understanding what you're saying.  What do you mean?"

When they use words or slang that you don't understand, ask them to explain.  Establish regular weekly "together time" in which you and your child do something alone with each other that allows your child to talk.  It doesn't have to be elaborate---just taking a walk or going out for ice cream can be a chance to listen.  Tap into what your child is good at by having them teach you soemthing (for example, searching the Web, dancing, fishing, etc.)

Then, you talk.

You've listened and you've thought about what to say.  Now comes the tough part---finding the words to say and actually starting the conversation.  In this section, you'll find some opening lines (and some follow-up lines too) recommended by Dr. Cunningham, father of Noelle, 9, and Phillippe Pete, 8.  You don't have to follow the script word for word.  find your own words and find the times and places that are comfortable for you to talk, like in the car when it's just the two of you, on walks together or having a snack at the mall.

Setting the Rules

In a recent study, teens gave parents a "C-" in preventing kids from using drugs.  These kids often say that their parents don't talk to them about drugs---even though their parents report that they do.  Don't leave your kids guessing.  Tell them very clearly that you don't want them using substances---no tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, ecstasy or inhalants.  Setting a firm rule of no drug use will help your child navigate peer and other pressure to use drugs.  Here are some examples of rules that parenting experts recommend:

• "If you're at a party and you see that drugs or alcohol are being used, the rule is to leave the party.  Call me and I'll come and get you."
• "I've been thinking lately that I've never actually told you this:  I don't want you using alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs."
• "I love you and I want the best for you, so I don't want you using marijuana or any other drug."
• "The rule in our house is that nobody use drugs."
• "You know, drugs are not games.  I don't want you doing them, not now, not ever."

Risky Situations:

Part of what you can do as a parent is set limits.  Let your kids know that you do not want them in risky situations.

• "I don't want you riding in a car with a driver who's been using drugs or who'ss been drinking."
• "Honey, I love you, but you've got to know I'm your parent, not one of your friends.  As your parent, I will not put up with you being in a place where drugs are being used."
• "It's my job as a parent to keep you safe, so I'm going to ask you questions about who you're with and what you're doing."
• "I care enough about you to let you know that I don't want to see anything bad happen to you, and it would be hard not having you in my life."

Giving Advice on Avoiding Risky Situations:

Sometimes kids need the language to help them stay away from risky situations.  Here are some lines you can provide your child.  In addition, this is also an opportunity to get your kids to think for themselves.  Ask them what they would say or do in risky situations.  Then you can give your child examples from the ones listed below of what he can tell someone who uses drugs:

• "I like you, but I don't like drugs."
• "It makes me uncomfortable to be around drugs."
• "I'd be happy to help you (go to a teacher, parent or other adult), but I can't be around you when you use drugs."
• "My dad (or mom, grandmother, etc.) would kill me if he (or she) knew I was around drugs."

In general, kids prefer a refusal message that is straightforward. Kids want to make the fact clear that drugs are not a part of their lives. Here are some examples of what a child might tell someone who offers drugs.

• "No thanks. It's not for me."
• "Taking drugs is not for me."
• "My parents would kill me."
• "I don't do drugs.  I could get kicked off the team if anyone found out."
• "Why would I want to mess up a good thing? Taking drugs is just not me."

Catching Your Child With Drugs:

If you've caught your child using drugs or "holding" them for a friend, you might be speechless. Worse yet, you might want to lash out with harsh words. If you feel angry or that you may be out of control at that moment, give yourself  a cooling-off period before you talk to your child. the next step, experts say, is to let your child know that you do not approve of drug use or possession.

The following phrases work to get good communication going:

• "Let's talk about how you got these drugs and the impact of what you've done."
• "I'm really disappointed. You know I don't approve of drug use. I especially don't approve of you using drugs."
• "I'm going to stand by you and always love you and guide you, but I do not want you taking drugs. I don't want you making the wrong choice and then have bad things happen in your life."

If your child has admitted to using drugs recently, you may want to ask your doctor or counselor for help. He or she will give you good advice and keep the conversation confidential. During your talk, you can ask your child where he or she got the drugs. If your child got drugs from a friend, ask the name of the friend. Depending on the situation, you may want to let the parents of the friend know.

If your child got drugs as school, you may decide that telling the principal is the best thing to do. There's no doubt that talking to  a parent or principal about where your kid got drugs might be a hard choice. However, in the end, you might decide that this is the best alternative for you when yo consider this fact: if you don't alert the principal or parent, the drug problem may continue and may even get worse.

If your child used allowance money to buy the drugs, you might want to take away the allowance until your your child earns back your trust. Explain to your child that he or she let you down by using their allowance for something illegal and harmful and that you now question their judgment about being responsible with money.

How You Can Enforce the Rules:

"Because you stayed at a party where there was no adult supervision and where people were using drugs, you're not going anywhere--no mall, no movies, nowhere--for one week (up to three depending on whether the child lied and hon how severe the act was)."

"You broke the most important rule--no drugs. We've talked about how I  feel about that; here are the consequences of your behavior. You get no phone or television priveleges for one week (up to three depending on whether the child lied and hon how severe the act was). You do get Internet priveleges, so that during that time, you can write a paper on the effects of drugs."

Talking with your kids

The punishment should not be much longer than three weeks. If it's too long, the child will forget why he's being punished.

Your Child Admits to Having Tried Drugs:

This is another situation that could leave you upset, angry  or at odds with how to respond. Again, the idea is to reinforce the rules about drug use while keeping the lines of communication open. Love the child, but disapprove of the behavior.

• "I'm glad you told me, but let me remind you that drugs get in the way of your being healthy and happy. Drugs are also illegal, so juvenile detention is a possibility. You can lose your driver's license (or learner's permit). You can lose your scholarship. You can get kicked off the team."
• "While I'm disappointed to hear that you tried drugs (or alcohol), I'm glad you told me and I don't want you to stop telling me stuff. but I don't want you to use drugs (or alcohol).
• "My job as a parent is to make sure that you have a wonderful childhood, but it's more important that you become the wonderful, competent adult that I know you'll be. I know you can't do that if you use drugs."

Your Child Says That "Everyone Is doing It":

Kids often believe that more kids are doing drugs than is actually the case. That sometimes means that they will try drugs in an attempt to fit in.

• "Fewer kids use drugs than you might think. Besides you don't need drugs to fit in."
• "You can make your own decisions. You don't have to do anything that's against your beliefs."
• "I'm not interested in what other kids are doing. I know I don't want you using drugs."
• "Why should that affect you? You are your own person."

Your Child Tells You that Marijuana is a Natural Product:

There might be a time when your child argues that marijuana is natural. Here are some possible responses:

• "Arsenic (a natural poison) and poison ivy are 'natural' too, but I don't want you ingesting those either. Don't forget, marijuana is illegal. You can go to a juvenile detention center and lose your driver's license."
• "Everything natural is not good for you...marijuana is one of those things, right up there with tobacco."

Your Child's Friend or Parent Tried Drugs:

This is another instance that is really a risky sion. As the parent, you can let your child know that it is yur job to keep him or her safe and awayfrom bad situations.

• "I don't want you hanging out with kids who use drugs or drink alcohol. You know that when you're around people who use drugs, I'm afraid they'll try to pressure you to use drugs."
• "You obviously care about your friend. And when we care about somebody, we don't let him or her get hurt or in trouble. Let's try to help your friend."
• "Can I help? Do you want me to help you get help for your friend?"

If Your Kids Ask, "Did You Ever Do Drugs?"

Experts agree that it's best to be honest. Behavioral scientist Tony Biglan, Ph.D., suggests that answering this question untruthfully can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever discover that you've lied to them. On the other hand, if you don't feel comfortable answering  the question, you may decide that the time is not right to discuss the topic. As with other sensitive topics such as sex, you should talk about it when you're ready.

When you are ready to talk, Dr. Biglan says, "You don't need to go into detail." You can just give a short, honest answer like these:

• "When I was a kid I took drugs because some of my friends did. I thought I needed to in order to fit in. We didn't know as much as we do now about all the bad things that can happen when you smoke marijuana or use other drugs. If I'd known then about the consequences, I never would have tried drugs, and I'll do everything I can to help you keep away from them."
• "Everybody makes mistakes. When I used drugs, I made a big one. I'm telling you about this, even though it's embarrassing, because I love you and I want to save you from making the same stupid decision I made when I was your age."
• "I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn't control the risks--the loss of trust from my parents and friends. There are much better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs.

TEACHABLE MOMENTS

When do I day it?

Experts like Dr. Cunningham suggest that any moment can be a teachable moment. When you decide to use a moment to teach your child something about drugs, it doesn't have to be a long, serious talk--just a few words can do. And it's not a talk you have only once. Have it regularly.

Some examples of teachable moments might be when you're:

• Having fun. One mother said, "I go for walks with my girls and everything just comes right out."
• Discussing books or movies with your kids.
• Doing regular chores together.
• Eating together as a family.
• Just hanging out...reading, cooking a meal, going fishing, listening to music, watching a ball game, singing together, playing chess or having a family picnic.

When your kids are in school, it's a good time to start using teachable moments to warn them about inhalants. Some kids sniff gasoline, nail polish remover or the fumes from shaving cream cans to get high, and they can die any time they use them--the first or the 50th time.

Tell your preteens how marijusana interferes with concentrating on schoolwork and their ability to play sports. If they don't hear about drugs and alcohol from you, it's a sure thing that they'll hear about them from someone else. Make certain that they understand the legal trouble they can get into when it comes to drug use.

Also, remember that you are your child's most important role model. They notice everything you do. When your children see you drink or do drugs, they might think it's OK for them. If you make jokes about getting drunk or using drugs, or if you allow minors to drink in your home, your child might think that alcohol or drugs are not to be taken seriously.

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